Trust in the Lord (6/1)

To be brutally honest... this was a REALLY hard week for us. It feels like Satan is working so hard against us, and attacking at every possible angle. We dropped some more investigators that weren't progressing, we have been anti'd several times, we have been struggling trying to find new people to teach, and we can't get the members of our ward to be involved more with the missionary work, so we spent even more time knocking doors this week.

Yesterday was the worst, and it seemed like everything came crashing down around us. Our favorite investigating family (Consuelo & Oswaldo - I've talked about them before) told us that they can't commit at this point in their life. They left us with a beautiful prayer, but Hermana Wilkins and I both lost ourselves to tears the second we got back to the car. It is SO hard to see them so close to receiving the blessings of the gospel for their family and to just give it all up, mostly for sake of inconvenience. We have so much love for this family, and it's hard to think we probably won't ever see them again, and that our dreams of someday going to the temple with them have pretty much completely faded.

We have been comparing our finding efforts to a European mission. (So, if any of you served there and have some tips, they would be appreciated!) Basically, it feels like every single method we try fails. And, when we are blessed to find someone that is genuinely interested, they are not Hispanic and we have to turn them over to the English Elders (big disappointment). Of course, we keep pressing forward, but it is so hard to continue to have faith when time and time again it is shattered.

Last night, after probably the worst day of my mission so far, Hermana Wilkins and I decided the best thing would be some ice cream and a movie. Normally as a missionary that could not be a reality, but fortunately we live with members who were happy to lend us their tv, and just happened to have some ice cream in their freezer. (Tender mercy - they NEVER have ice cream) Anyway, we served ourselves some double fudge brownie and popped in the hit feature, The Mountain of the Lord (just about the only one they had that we are actually allowed to watch). We were trying to drown our sorrows, but actually ended up learning some really important lessons.

The movie is about the building of the Salt Lake City temple, and the 40 (yes 40!) years the Saints spent building it. I was so impressed by everything that they sacrificed everything they had to do the Lord's work, and yet they still suffered so much. It's kind of what we have been thinking - we are here on this mission having sacrificed everything we know to serve the Lord, and sometimes it seems like he has forgotten about us... we're thinking "a little help here!"

It took the workers NINE years to lay the original foundation (they were cutting stones from a quarry in the mountains and it took four days by horse carriage to get them down to the valley). After working hard and long, they learned they would have to bury the foundation under the ground because the US Army was coming to put down the construction of the temple. The army came, and left, and when the people finally unburied the foundation they discovered cracking in most of the stones, which suggested that it would not stand to hold a granite temple over time. Things like this have been happening to us, and our thoughts have been after all this, you have got to be kidding me! But, for the Saints of Salt Lake, this trial turned out to be a blessing because they were able to rebuild the temple foundation with more finely shaped stones, and create a stronger foundation - one that will stand for centuries.

Sometimes it is hard to see this perspective and recognize what we are to learn from our trials. But God is all-knowing, and has a wise purpose in all that He does. We have to trust in His wisdom, and do our best to see the purpose of our trials and burdens. As missionaries we are looking at the foundation we have laid in Queen Creek over the past 5 1/2 months, and are trying to learn what we can do to more finely shape the stones for the future as the work continues to go forth in this area.

I'm grateful for a wise and loving Heavenly Father and for His patience with me as I learn and try to do His will. I am grateful for His tender mercies, and for the love that He and my Savior Jesus Christ have for me. I know that if we put our trust in Him 100% and lean not unto our own understanding and limited perspective, that we will always come out stronger on in the end. Sometimes it may seem like it is going to take 40 years to see an end result, but with patience, we will always stand strong in the end. We must continue to press forward in the Lord's work, mustering faith when we don't seem to have any more. I know that as we continue to do this, we WILL see the blessings. May God bless you in your own personal trials with an eternal perspective and trust in His arm of understanding.

Love always,

Hermana Richelle Ouellette