We had zone conference this week, and I gave my departing testimony... it was pretty surreal. It still doesn't feel real that I'll be home in two weeks, and I don't think it will hit me until I get off the plane. I wanted to share with you some of the thoughts I had as I shared my testimony on Thursday, and some of the things I've been thinking about recently.
As I'm sure you know my family (especially Mom) has been counting down the days until I come home... it stresses me out to get the weekly reminder, and every time I think about leaving everything I'm doing right now it puts me into anxiety mode. I've been putting my all into missionary work for the past 18 months, and this is who I've become... I don't know how I'm going to go from doing that and BEING that to being a normal person with a less defined purpose when it all comes crashing to an end.
Something that has been helping me reduce the stress is NOT thinking about this experience as the climax of my life and feeling that it's all downhill from here. It's difficult, since this year and a half has been the most intense, wonderful time of my life (cliche, I know), but that doesn't mean things have to be different afterwards. I've come to realize that the mission is pretty much like bootcamp... a really intense growing period meant to prepare us for continued service. As I've been pushed to the edge physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I know that I have been molded to continue consecrating my life in service to our Father's work.
We have been doing a Jillian Michael's workout video in the morning for exercise, and every time she says something that's supposed to motivate us to push harder physically I think of the spiritual application.
For example, "If you want change, you have to put stress on your body." Often we face struggles with the attitude of "why can't this be easier?", or "why can't this problem go away?" But if we want to grow (which I'm assuming each of us does) we need to experience the hard times to help us push to the next level. There have been many times during the mission when I've felt that I can't do it, that I'm not capable, or strong enough, but the thing about the mission is that giving up is not an option! We take our struggles to the Lord, continue to be diligent, and in the end we come out stronger than we were before.
I am so incredibly grateful for this bootcamp experience that has pushed me every single day. And the beautiful thing is, the challenging moments are quickly and easily forgotten (in fact hard to remember) because of the intense joy we feel as we experience the miracles of missionary work.
Furthermore, I am amazed at the results. As Jillian says, "they don't come for free", and they certainly haven't. I have grown so much in every aspect of my life - most importantly my testimony. I am looking forward to "graduating" from missionary bootcamp and moving on to more challenges. I am grateful to have had this "training", and I know that it has prepared me to be a better wife, mother, and servant of the Lord than I would have been otherwise. Thank you to each of you who have supported me during this process!
But.... It's not over yet! :)
Love always,
Hermana Richelle Ouellette
PICTURE - Hermana Mugar and I at the Mesa Temple this week.
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